Few month ago I had my first major panic attack. It was due to my break up and came to know that she is getting married. After that i was continuously getting panic attack. I remember that day of my first panic attack i was in wash room and i faint in wash room i don’t remember how long i was there when i weak up i see that i was getting nose bleeding and hardly able to stand in my feet. I did not give dam to that and even i did not share this to any one during that time. day after day same thing happening. it was feel like a am completely afraid some time it was feeling like someone is in my door to kill me. continuously it was around 5 day i was not able to sleep, then finally i discusses with my friend samrakchan about those things he to told me i must should go for checkup.
During checkup i tell every thing to doctor, then he told me i have complete symptoms of Depression. After checking my blood pressure Doctor was suck, It was 160-130. He told me at this age it is very high. he gave me few sleeping and depression medicine. while taking medicine i always fell asleep and i completely use to sleep around 20 hours a day.
My situation as very wort during those time i always use to pray god to give me dead and on the same time i got invitation of her marry. I Remember a day when she get married it was 7th may 2017, day before their was marry party. I told her i can’t come because i can’t see that she is getting married with someone else, but she force me to come she told if i will attend her marry she will feel very good, happy. Although knowing my situation i attend her marry it was just for her smile and her happiness. In her marry my friend samrakchan was with me and i drink a loot, but also i was in such a state that i can drink more i was not stopping samrakchan stop me to drink.
when i come back to my room i was only seeing her photo. that day was my worst day of my life. I know their is lots of thing in life and i can have other girl in my life. but she was such a wonderful girl for whom i can do anything and she is irreplaceable in my life and i still love her.
Whatever happen in the life but everyone have to move on in their life. That is what i am also trying to do, after suggestion of multiple psychiatrist and exploring in internet their is only one way try to make busy as much as possible. At the beginning it was very hard but after giving time now i am able to focus in may work. currently i am working more then 16 hours a day and have also join fitness so that i can be tied as much as possible so that i can have a good sleep. but also i am not able to sleep early in night. After trying many thing now a day also I hardly feel interested in doing anything. Every alternative morning I use to get panic due to getting up at 6 or 7 in the morning after sleeping very late.
I am trying to moving on just i am not giving up i know one day i will be out of these things.